Hardware

Devoted to the culinary arts as a professional caterer, I find myself ceaselessly orchestrating a symphony of flavours within the confines of my kitchen domain. My reputation, well-earned within the industry, beckons the allure of opulent affairs, where the guest list tallies in the hundreds. With an influx of prestigious engagements, the crescendo of success has prompted me to secure an additional kitchen space, a canvas where gastronomic dreams are vividly brought to life. It’s a thrilling juncture in my culinary journey.

Today, a new chapter unfurls as I embark on preparations for a grand wedding spectacle. The prospective attendance of over 500 eager souls, woven with the couple’s aspirations, has culminated in a rustic theme for their culinary experience. The very essence of ‘rustic’ evokes images of warm wood tones and the allure of tradition. Determined to realise this vision, I ventured to a hardware shop near me in Cheltenham, seeking to translate rustic splendour into tangible form. Amidst the bustling aisles, a cheese board concept materialised, an elongated canvas promising decadence that none could simply bypass. A helpful store attendant, amidst a cohort of skilled tradespeople, furnished me with an arsenal of power and hand tools essential for my creative undertaking.

Subsequently, my quest led me to another establishment, a Cheltenham store that stocks timber, its interior a sanctuary of oak flooring and cedar boards. Amidst the myriad options, a single piece emerged as the embodiment of rustic allure – its dark hues and dimensions aligning perfectly with my envisaged masterpiece. In a serendipitous twist, its proportions suited my vision impeccably, streamlining the assembly process. My journey culminated at the counter, a piece of artful timber cradled in my arms, accompanied by a vial of paint destined to grace its edges with artistry.

Anticipating the tableau of flavours that will grace this crafted platform, I visualise an array of delights: olives, nuts, decadent jams, and a medley of savoury deli meats. The finale, an ode to local splendour, might well involve a detour to the adjacent florist, where clusters of native Australian flora could punctuate the cheese board with a vibrant touch of botanical elegance.

As my culinary imagination takes flight, I embark on the journey of transforming timber into a culinary masterpiece, weaving a narrative of rustic charm and culinary excellence, all set to unfold beneath the auspices of love and celebration.

My dreams always take me on wild journeys. While some might deem them nightmares, I find them genuinely fascinating. Beyond their enigmatic glimpses into my subconscious, their narratives unfold with a gripping intensity akin to a television series. The distinction lies in its mental stage, an arena under my dominion. Unlike most, who often struggle to recollect their dreams, I am blessed with a vivid memory of each minute detail.

The previous night introduced an unprecedented dream, an anomaly within my nocturnal tapestry. Curiously, I found myself within a hardware store. Bentleigh appeared to be the chosen locale, a perplexing choice given my absence from the actual vicinity. Yet, my dream self traversed the store’s aisles, absorbing the eclectic array of products on display. Amid the assortment of tools, where familiar objects like hammers beckoned recognition, there existed enigmatic devices like a pair of asymmetrical silver metal bars, their form tinged with an elusive menace. Such concerns, however, failed to encroach upon my dream self’s equanimity. His focus remained steadfast on the two ethereal fairies that hovered above the shelves, engaged in rapid discourse—a symphony of words too high-pitched for disentanglement. Were I to articulate their speech, it resembled an intermingling of English and the dulcet ring of a pristine chime, a symphony of pleasant resonance. Both fairies spanned the breadth of my palm, with one bearing a striking resemblance to a renowned fairy, her name momentarily eluding my grasp. You surely recall her—a blonde-maned figure clad in verdant attire.

Intriguingly, the fairies remained oblivious to my presence. The male fairy gestured toward a placard proclaiming the establishment to be the finest electrical supplies store Cheltenham had birthed. The emerald-clad fairy nodded in concurrence, her dainty hand tracing through the air. Suddenly, the pile of timber stationed adjacent to me slipped from its moorings. It ascended towards the ceiling, converging upon the fairies’ ethereal domain before undergoing a wondrous transformation. Piece by piece, the timber dwindled in dimensions, condensing until the entire assemblage, a hundred-strong, nestled comfortably within my wife’s purse. A gasp of astonishment was poised upon my lips, but the realm of dreams subdued it.

Today is probably going to be the longest day of my life. It’s just a waiting game. I feel sick waiting for my friend to let me know the news. Her life turned upside down within the space of forty-five minutes. I spoke to her at 3:45 pm yesterday and everything was normal, and by 4:30 pm she was at the hospital begging the hospital staff to let her in to see her dad. He suffered a major medical episode and is currently fighting for his life. I feel absolutely helpless and I know that nothing I can say or do is going to make this any better. The only thing that is going to make it better is for her dad to be okay. 

Whilst I wait, I think I’m going to try and keep myself busy. Often when I’m feeling anxious I try to keep my hands busy by building something. I think I have some leftover timber supplies from the Cheltenham hardware store that I can use. I might build a little coffee table or something. If it’s good enough, I’ll give it to my friend as a ‘thinking of you’ gift. If it isn’t good enough, I’ll dismantle it and use it to make something else the next time I’m feeling anxious. It’s so messed up because if I’m feeling this way, I can’t even imagine how my friend is feeling. It must be horrific. The whole situation makes me feel sick. 

I’m spiralling a bit. I need to refocus my thoughts. I’ll go get all my materials out and build something. Actually, now that I look at what I’ve got, I probably don’t have enough timber to make a good coffee table. I think I’ll make a trip to the hardware store. Cheltenham has plenty of hardware stores around but the one I’ll go to is my favourite. It just always has everything that I need. I’ll update you after my trip.

I’ve had many brilliant ideas, but today I’ve stumbled upon my finest yet: I’m going to build a treehouse. These wooden contraptions have intrigued me since I saw the film Ridge to Terrasmithia as a child. Even as an adult, I can’t imagine anything better. I’d love a place to escape to in nature, high up in the trees where I’m hidden from the curious gaze of my nosy neighbours.

This morning, I visited a hardware store near Sandringham in search of parts. The store was very well-supplied but as I don’t have a lot of construction experience, I couldn’t find what I was looking for. When I approached the store assistant for help, he kindly suggested my skills may not match my expectations. He instead directed me to a pamphlet rack filled with trade courses and recommended I look into improving my abilities before attempting something so extravagant.

See, I want my treehouse to be two-storeys high, with a ladder tumbling all the way to the floor, and a watertight ceiling to keep the wood from weather damage. I also want it outfitted with proper plumbing and gorgeous lighting so I can not only sleep there comfortably, but bring my friends to visit without embarrassment. Maybe the store assistant was right. It would be better to start a project like this with some other experience first.

I took a pamphlet from the rack and drove to enrol in construction classes offered by another building supplies store. Around Cheltenham, most of these classes are taken by people who want to learn trades for their career. I feel a little silly taking them just for a project like my treehouse, but I still can’t wait to start learning. Already, I know this is something I’ll really enjoy and my treehouse will look so much better as a result of all the effort I’m putting in. Can’t wait for the classes to begin.