I’ve been having nightmares about driving recently. I guess actually, they’re technically not nightmares. In the dreams I’m just driving the streets, stopping at traffic lights, making left and right turns, just doing really normal everyday driving things. To most normal people this would just be a boring, or maybe even soothing, dream. But to me, it’s an absolute nightmare.
I’m really scared of driving, you see? In dreams like that where I’m just driving, I either feel comfortable behind the wheel and wake up sad because it wasn’t real, or I am filled with panic and feel a terrible urge to jump out of the driver’s window. I know this isn’t normal and I’m in the process of getting help for my fear of driving. Part of what I’m doing is called ‘immersion therapy’ where I spend time chatting with the local mechanic in Morayfield about what measures mechanics take to make sure cars are as safe on the road as possible. Stuff like that really means a lot to me and is actually helpful, which is why maybe some of my driving dreams are less stressful than they used to be.
Every single day I wish that I was normal. I wish that I didn’t have this debilitating fear of driving that controls almost everything I do. It’s really hard for me to get places, to see people and just to live a normal life.
I feel like an absolute pain when I have to ask for lifts from friends and family. Once I was so desperate for a lift that I got into my friend’s car even though she didn’t have a valid roadworthy certificate. In the Morayfield area, you’re legally not allowed to drive around without one but I needed a lift so bad that I just took the risk of being in her car. I’ll admit, that was a real low point for me.