Plastering Recipe Success

‘I’m telling you,’ I sighed for the hundredth time, ‘I can’t hear a thing.’

‘You promise?’

‘I promise,’ I said. ‘What even is this stuff?’

‘This,’ my brother said with a massive grin, ‘is the future.’

He let the word hang in the air for a few moments. Eventually, I raised an eyebrow.

‘No, seriously Jamie, what the hell is this?’

‘Oh,’ he said, his grin dropping slightly. ‘It’s my new plaster technology.’

‘Your new… your what?’

‘It’s a new kind of plaster!’ he said. ‘I made it myself, in this very garage.’

‘I believe that, at least,’ I murmured, casting my eyes around the filthy, plaster-splattered walls. ‘But what does a “new plaster” even mean? I mean, we found somebody to install an acoustic ceiling, so I vaguely understand the principles, but—’

‘Pfft!’ he waved his hand. ‘Amateur stuff.’

‘Actually, they were incredible professional and hard work—’

‘This is the best plaster on the planet,’ he said, pointing at his half-filled paint can of nebulous white liquid. ‘This’ll put a wall up faster than you could even dream.’

‘You seriously underestimate my dreams,’ I said dryly. ‘What does this have to do with me, anyway? I sell electronics, not plaster.’

‘And you’re very good at selling electronics,’ he said, with a suggestive slant to his eyes. I frowned.

‘Not following.’

‘Money,’ he sighed. ‘I need money to get it off the ground.’

‘Oh, for god’s sake Jamie—’

‘Just a little bit!’ he protested.

‘What sort of interest can I put you down for, hm?’ I asked him. ‘How aggressive should we scale your payment plan?’

‘Uh,’ he scratched his head. ‘I was thinking more of an early Christmas gift type-thing.’

‘Not after the last hundred times,’ I grumbled. ‘No, this time you’re paying me back.’


‘I don’t know,’ I rolled my eyes. ‘Patent it, make it, sell it to a commercial plastering company. Near me, that’s just called business.’

He actually started to pout, his frown deepening.

‘This is unbelievable,’ he muttered.

‘See you at Christmas,’ I waved, starting to leave.

‘Wait, no, Kevin, come back!