Buyer’s Advocate

Somewhere in the depths of Melbourne gathers a secret sect, a powerful group, a conclave that hides in the shadows, waiting to enact their plots. This group is known as the Advocates of Melbourne. This is their story.

The Advocates formed a special alliance in the year 2020, after the mad tyrant known as Premier Norris declared that all conveyancers and buyer’s agents would help him find his dream home for free. Not wanting to assist the mad premier, the group fled to the sewers of Melbourne. There, these people would unite together to be the ultimate sect of property advocates. Melbourne and its premier, Norris, would not stand a chance against their united power. One man, an up-and-coming buyer’s advocate by the name of Riley, would lead them in a secret battle against the corrupt premier. 

The battle was fierce and relentless. For three days, the premier’s guards and the advocates fought beneath Government House. And just when it seemed that hope had run out for the property advocates, Premier Norris lost the election to Dr Dark McBane. As Norris fled to the countryside, Riley met with McBane to discuss a potential treaty. But McBane had other ideas for the Advocates of Melbourne. He proposed to Riley that he could be the only buyer’s advocate close to Elsternwick, having dominion over the area. This was a deal that Riley could not refuse, so he turned his back on the Advocates of Melbourne and joined McBane.

Ever since this betrayal, the other members of the Advocates of Melbourne have been plotting their revenge. While they have been branded as a sinister group by some, all they want is for Riley to face justice, so that they can return to the streets of Melbourne and serve the community as the best property advocates around. To some, they may be villains, but to me, they are the true heroes of this story.

I convinced my friends to chat with a buyer’s agent! It took a couple of weeks of us really struggling with the housing market, but I did it. I brought it up when my friends were pretty down in the dumps. They were feeling the feelings that so many people just a bit older than us have felt – the betrayal of the Boomers as they ruined the property market for everyone younger than them. I didn’t want to take advantage of their hopelessness, but it was for the best. I’m happy to say that they believed me. 

Next week we will begin discussions with the local buyer’s agent in Malvern East. We’ve already sent over a list of everything we’re looking for in a home, which is rent of less than $200 each per month, an outdoor area, a dishwasher and ideally two bathrooms. The rest we’re pretty flexible on. We don’t necessarily care about having an ensuite or built-in robe.  

I hope that this sort of thing is easy enough for the buyer’s advocate to work with. We don’t want to be a pain but we really want to be settled into our house in three months time. 

I hope our conversation with the property advocates close to Melbourne goes well. It will make such a big difference to us if it does. The thought of getting to see my best friends every day makes me so happy. Instead of texting them about my boy drama, I’ll be able to just go into their rooms and flop on their beds. It’ll seriously be like a never-ending sleepover. It’s also perfect because they’re the type of people that I can sit in silence with for hours and not feel awkward at all. That’s when you know you’re best friends.

When we have another update on our house situation, I’ll let you know. Bye for now! Don’t forget to smile.