Plumbing

Following a day dedicated to the distribution of cheese to the rodent populace of Melbourne, Remy eventually found his way back to his abode. Nestled within the walls of an apartment in close proximity to the bustling city, he took immense pride in the impeccable outfitting of his diminutive domicile. A fervent environmentalist, Remy had orchestrated the entire space from entirely repurposed elements – kitchen drawers lovingly crafted from matchboxes, beds that cradled him with feathers, and tables, once pizza boxes, now serving his needs. Yet, his ultimate solace was derived from the plumbing prowess his abode possessed.

Months of prudent saving had culminated in Remy procuring the services of esteemed drain repair companies in Melbourne. This prudent investment had endowed his home with the luxury of instant hot water, a delightfully rare indulgence, beyond the grasp of his fellow rat compatriots. The crowning glory was that this resource flowed directly from the human apartment situated below, sparing him the burden of ongoing plumbing expenses – usually, at least.

Upon returning from his lengthy rat-work shift that fateful day, Remy’s ears detected a disconcerting symphony of human screams emanating from below. Swiftly, he nestled his head within the air vent, uncovering the source – a breached pipe causing pandemonium. Apprehension spurred Remy into immediate action; scuttling to his own plumbing network, he inspected for the ramifications of the pressure upheaval. To his dismay, the aged terracotta had yielded, resulting in complete dislodgment. Hastily, Remy summoned aid through his rat phone, connecting with Paul, a rat plumber with expertise, seeking counsel on boundary trap replacement specialists. Melbourne boasted an abundance of these rat-savvy professionals, though their schedules were typically brimming, impeding swift appointments.

During the phone wait, Remy contemplated the need to evacuate his cherished haven. The nature of human plumbers remained an enigma, and the looming risk of inadvertent inundation loomed large. An idea germinated – retreating to the subterranean sewers could safeguard his sanctuary. Swiftly, Remy gathered his cherished belongings, darting down the drain with resolve.

Driving the old sedan through the apparition of the Mornington Peninsula, Redman couldn’t help but feel more than a little spooked. He’d come from there, after all, before the collapse of society on the surface. His family had tried to stick it out, living in a bunker underneath their Red Hill property. Eventually, though, supplies had run out and they had to make for the rumoured underground haven.

So he knew exactly what the Mornington Peninsula had looked like in the last days. It was nothing like this illusion. Add a few hundred giant cockroaches and some scorched earth, then maybe it would be more accurate.

His father had believed that as a professional plumber, he could take on the giant roaches and get them to safety. Unfortunately, he was little more than a senile old man at that point – one who hadn’t done a commercial gutter cleaning in over a decade, let alone dealt with a cockroach infestation. Redman wasn’t even sure if plumbers usually dealt with cockroaches. That seemed more like a job for someone in pest control. It was no real surprise when the cockroaches tore his father to shreds with their forearms, then flew off before the rest of the family could even land a hit on them.

These days, if you needed hot water repairs close to Melbourne, you certainly wouldn’t be asking for Albert Redman.

The memory was a painful one, causing Redman to exhale deeply. Why did the passcode have to involve commercial plumbing services? Why couldn’t it have been anything else?

As he drew closer to the property of 35 Boulevard Drive, Redman kept a close eye out for anything suspicious. Mavis’ note had been distinctly out of character for her. As a result, he had to be prepared for the possibility of this being a trap of some kind.

Better to be suspicious and have there be nothing to worry about than to walk into a trap without expecting it.

After spending the week cooped up in my house, my husband suggested I go for a walk outside. Exercise? No thanks, I told him. I wasn’t lacking any vitamins, and I did not want to work up a sweat.

In the end, my husband dragged me outside and taught me how to garden. Although I had a general understanding of how to plant and maintain a vegetable patch, I was never properly taught as a child, so I was glad to have his guidance.

I was digging for a place to plant my pumpkin seeds when my shovel hit a pipe. I could see it was in awful shape: the pipe was filled with debris, and the root system of a nearby tree had grown into it, obstructing its natural route. Turning to my husband, I asked if he knew of any drain repair companies near Melbourne that we could pay to unblock the pipe. Who knew what other effects this could be having on our home’s drainage system!

My husband appeared unconcerned and replied that he would take a look at the drain next weekend. I laughed – surely we should leave that job to a qualified plumber? Someone who had experience with domestic properties, and who had all the proper excavation and clearing equipment?

Finally, my husband acquiesced. He said there were a number of drainage contractors offering service in Melbourne and that all I had to do was find them. However, he promised that getting our drain repaired was not a pressing matter, and that I should enjoy the sunshine and leave the worrying until next week. After all, many of the companies had a two-hour response time, so it would be pretty easy to call someone out if the issue worsened in the coming days.

My husband may not have been a plumber, but he was quite the handyman around the house, so I trusted his judgement. We spent the rest of the day on our vegetable patch. I’m looking forward to trying my pumpkins in a few months!

Karen woke to a cool gust of wind, and the calming sound of birds chirping while the sun rose. She prepared her children’s breakfast in the kitchen and applied her makeup in the bathroom. Everything was calm and tranquil, and she felt at peace. Until two minutes later when her stormwater drain ruptured and spewed water all over her clean carpet. Could this be a sign? Could she, a housewife and respectable homeowner, finally be ready to change the trajectory of her life? 

Yesterday, she had met her friend Bob at the park for a stroll. He was an expert tradesman, and had worked for over a decade to satisfy customers in the local area. While they enjoyed the fresh morning air, he told her all about the exciting world of drain repairs. Brighton was a small place, and she already walked all of it. She had not only visited every café in the area, but had traversed every trail, and explored every nature reserve. It was time to set her sights on something new. Perhaps her exciting new venture could be in plumbing? Karen had heard Bob talk about the equipment and materials needed to be an efficient worker, so she figured that with the proper training, it would be a simple job. 

After conducting a short television interview (all in a morning’s work) – Karen arrived at the store which specialised in sewer replacement services in the Melbourne suburbs. The business did also conduct repairs on leaks and drains, but these did not pertain directly to her immediate situation. Apparently, the workers at the store could sense her newfound enthusiasm plumbing. As she wasn’t a qualified plumber she wasn’t allowed to join the team, but they did let her come along for the ride. 

Thrilled by her new sense of purpose, Karen smiled. She quickly discovered she truly enjoyed repairing blocked sewers, and helping rid her community of leaking taps. Everybody deserves hot water, she reasoned. And she would bring it to them.