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Principal’s Modern Design

Renovations / By

I’ve recently been employed as the principal of a very expensive private school in Victoria. The job is a dream come true; after years of low-paying teaching positions and moving up through the ranks, this has always been my goal. So far, I’m having a brilliant time. The campus is beautiful, and the students are not only well-behaved, but actually seem eager to learn. What surprised me the most is just how many resources are put into the buildings and architecture here. It looks great for prospective parents on open days, but do the students really care? Custom desks, custom whiteboards, custom bathrooms. It’s crazy. But I also know how lucky I am. Hundreds of educators would do anything for even an assistant position at this school, and I have the top job. Even some of Britain’s royals have been educated here. 

It’s been one week since I moved into my new principal’s office. So far, I’ve introduced myself at the assembly and signed a lot of things. Apparently, they’re hoping my presence will reinvigorate the school, which means I also get a lot of power when it comes to new building projects. The first major task I’ve been given is to create a list of the best bathroom design companies Melbourne has to offer, speak to them all, and employ the best ones. One of the school’s oldest buildings has been around since the fifties, so it’s definitely time for a bit of a facelift in the bathroom. It’s so much more complex than renovating a bathroom at home, but luckily there are dozens of resources to help me out. I have to think about things like cost and the budget I’ve been given, as well as preparation and demolition requirements so the students’ learning isn’t unnecessarily impacted. Then, it’s onto the actual style and layout, which includes things like fixtures and basins. It’s going to be a lot of work, but I’m determined to prove myself.

Ruby’s Sewer Project

Builders / By

Ruby the rat had been working at Remy’s cheese delivery business for five years when she decided she’d had enough. Ruby loved cheese, and she loved her customers, but Remy was an awful boss. He never complied with OHS procedures, he failed to communicate with clients, and – perhaps worst of all – he never shut up about how brilliant his house near the CBD was. Sighing, Ruby scanned through her list of customers all around the area for someone who could install job management software for trades and services in the Melbourne CBD (and underground). The cheese delivery business had been a greater help to Ruby than Remy had ever been. But there would be brilliant software in any industry. She put her resignation notice on Remy’s desk and left the store. 

Where to work next? Ruby knew there were several projects going on in the sewers at the moment. She didn’t want to be part of the king’s promotional video, or the huge plumbing project that was underway in regional Victoria … But she knew of a group of rats who were working to improve lighting in the darkest sewer tunnels. Maybe she could join them? Ruby thought they would appreciate the extra help, but she wasn’t sure they would be willing to take someone without experience as an electrician.

Suddenly, a brilliant idea came to her! Ruby had a passion for rat technology, and she knew about a new job management software. Designed for electrical contractor businesses in Melbourne, it was so new to the market that there was no way the electrician rats could have seen it yet! She would bring it to them, show them how easy it was to use, and how such software could cut down on admin tasks such as quotes, invoices and timesheets. Even purchase orders for new light bulbs could be tracked through the software. Ruby grinned. She couldn’t wait to apply for the new job – anything to get away from Remy!

Office Space Upgrade

Glass / By

Working as an architect on the moon colony of Melbourne is a dream come true. Unlike on Earth, where the manufacturing industry is ruled by complex safety procedures and those pesky laws of physics, things on the moon are much more relaxed. It seems like every single day I’m called in to design a new dome to house robotic animals, or a public swimming pool that tunnels all the way to the centre of the planet.

Today I’m working on an update to our tallest gravity-defying skyscraper – an office building that has been in use for several decades and is quickly being worn out by the lack of atmosphere. Since we’re so close to the sun, I’m thinking of employing one of the Melbourne companies offering commercial window tinting services. An upgrade to the windows would prevent damaging UV rays from entering through the glass, which has been a real problem since we opened the lunar colony.

Earth sent their annual report over a few weeks ago and it didn’t look good. Apparently, we use too much electricity on the moon and it’s been affecting the tidal patterns of our mother planet. The governments of both worlds have been in talks, and there are rumours Earth is going to cut our power ration if we don’t improve soon. An expert installation from any one of the office glass tinting businesses in Melbourne would not only reduce heat naturally, but also lower cooling costs – something I know my clients would love.

I just hope I’m able to design and execute the upgrades in time! The staff inside the office spaces won’t be too happy. They’ll need to be relocated, which is a mammoth task on the moon. Worst of all, they’re used to living in relative comfort, and won’t enjoy being inconvenienced. Luckily, I know the glass installation specialists myself and I know they’re very efficient. Fingers crossed everything goes to plan!

Checking My Car

Cars / By

I bought my very first car yesterday and it’s a real piece of work. It’s a used car almost a decade old, and the air conditioner is so weak that on a hot day I’d probably benefit more from my dog breathing on me. Still, it’s my first car, and I bought it all with my own money. I worked long hours after school at my local clothing store to save enough money for the purchase. I was such a scrupulous saver that I often missed out on social events with my friends purely because I didn’t want to spend any money. It’s all worth it now, though, because I have a car and they don’t. Most of them don’t even have their licences yet, as they haven’t turned eighteen.

Before I can drive my car, I need to find some lists of companies offering vehicle inspections local to Queanbeyan. I had no idea this was even a thing before my maths teacher told me, but apparently, the government mandates that a vehicle be inspected to ensure it’s roadworthy. This inspection is supposedly particularly important for my car, as it’s a used car that hasn’t been serviced properly in many years and I have no idea if it’s up to standard. My maths teacher is super smart – he even suggested the name of his favourite mechanic providing services in Queanbeyan. This mechanic is supposed to be the best of the best, and has won a number of awards for repairing cars over the years. When my vehicle is inspected, it will be checked for safety requirements such as seatbelts, reflectors, lamps, tyres, wheels, and other general components to ensure the vehicle has not become worn or deteriorated. I just hope it’s affordable and doesn’t cost too much, because as a full-time high school student I don’t have a lot of money to spare – especially since I just bought a car!

Our New Balustrade

Glass / By

My wife and I recently started our house renovations. After planning and saving for more than two years, we’re excited to finally create the house we’ve always dreamed of. At the moment, our house has three bedrooms and two bathrooms, which means it’s not the space that’s the issue, but the aesthetic. Every room is outdated: wallpaper from the previous century, brown tiles in the kitchen and bathroom, heating systems that haven’t been upgraded since heating was first invented. It’s just not our style.

Yesterday we installed a new glass balustrade on the second-floor landing next to the stairs. Our previous railing was made from light timber to match the stairs, but since we’re staining the stairs with a darker shade, we decided to install new glass panels to really amplify that modern look we’re going for.

Unfortunately, we forgot to secure the glass properly, and there was a large storm last night. Since we left our windows open to help the paint dry faster, a large hailstone was able to fly through the open window and hit the balustrade. The glass shattered, and my wife and I jumped awake and ran onto the landing. My heart was beating so fast – I thought it was a burglar! I’d even brought a baseball bat with me just in case. Luckily, finding a way to fix the balustrade was much easier than fixing the issue of a home intruder.

We called a few 24-hour glass repair companies. Melbourne has a lot of different options to choose from, but it’s crazy that some of them are even available 24 hours a day! Our situation wasn’t urgent, so we waited until the following morning for the glazier to arrive. He didn’t repair our glass, but instead suggested we use a different type of scratch-resistant glass moving forward, as it’s much sturdier than the flimsy panels we had previously. We followed his suggestion!

The Warrior’s Injury

Podiatry / By

As a famous warrior, I’ve led a pretty eventful life. I’ve even had some poems written about me. My friends always tell me not to brag about my achievements, but I think it’s only fair to share all the good I’ve done for the world. Leading a whole army? Spreading love to many people? Dragging some random guy around behind my chariot? The stuff of legend.

Ever since my mum dipped me in the Styx as a kid, this weird tendon at the back of my lower leg has been playing up. Most of the time it doesn’t bother me – I know the symptoms and have experienced them for years, but it’s never been this bad. I know I’ll need to seek out Achilles Tendonitis treatment pretty soon. That’s what I’ve called that little leg muscle – Achilles. It’s named after me, since I’m awesome. It also seems to affect me worse than anyone else I’ve ever come across, so I think I deserve to have my legacy living in perpetuity through the name of a muscle.

I’ve avoided seeking treatment up until this point due to sheer force of will, but it’s been a few millennia. I’m tired. I’ve injured my body from overuse, and if I want to continue walking, running and jumping to the best of my ability, I’ll have to get it seen to. Unfortunately, good battle medics are few and far between nowadays, so I search for the best Cheltenham Podiatrist clinic available in the area. I walk there immediately because I haven’t had a job in several centuries and I prefer chariots over cars. The clinic appears to be clean and modern. It has dozens of informative signs stuck to the walls, advertising symptoms for conditions like joint pain, arthritis, and treatments like prolotherapy. Very interesting stuff. I feel like since I know the muscles of the body so well, I should look into podiatry. I reckon I’ll be great.

Remy’s Prized Bathroom

Renovations / By

Remy was furious. After Ruby resigned and Paul the plumber refused to help him, he decided he didn’t need friends. All his friends had abandoned him in his hour of need; they didn’t deserve him, and they certainly didn’t deserve his artisan cheese collection. Since Remy’s prized bathroom was destroyed in the accident last night, he’d been living in the darkest part of the sewers. It was pitch black and the air was freezing cold, so he didn’t manage to get any sleep. Instead, he sat awake, silently stewing and formulating his revenge plan.  He would find the best bathroom designers Melbourne had to offer, and he would create a bathroom that would be the envy of everybody in the sewers – even the king.

He had a few ideas to start. While Remy’s bathroom did have working plumbing, it was quite small. His tiling was expertly completed, but it was old and outdated after half a decade of use. Remy had built the bathroom when he could barely afford materials – now, his delivery business had taken off, and he was one of the richest rats in the city. He could afford to splurge a bit. Maybe solid gold fixtures. Maybe a solid gold mirror. Maybe the whole bathroom, including the showers and sink and storage, could be solid gold? Yes, then it would be luxurious enough to invite rat royalty over. First, Remy would have to find some sort of company offering leaking shower repair services, as he didn’t know how to do that himself, and he wouldn’t be able to start his full bathroom renovation until his bathroom stopped flooding. Hopefully, the humans living next door had already called their own plumber, as Remy’s plumbing depended directly on the human apartment’s water supply. Just siphon off a little bit here and there, and they never know the difference. It was a smart idea. Of course it was – Remy had thought of it himself.

Unroadworthy Car

Cars / By

I’ve been having nightmares about driving recently. I guess actually, they’re technically not nightmares. In the dreams I’m just driving the streets, stopping at traffic lights, making left and right turns, just doing really normal everyday driving things. To most normal people this would just be a boring, or maybe even soothing, dream. But to me, it’s an absolute nightmare.

I’m really scared of driving, you see? In dreams like that where I’m just driving, I either feel comfortable behind the wheel and wake up sad because it wasn’t real, or I am filled with panic and feel a terrible urge to jump out of the driver’s window. I know this isn’t normal and I’m in the process of getting help for my fear of driving. Part of what I’m doing is called ‘immersion therapy’ where I spend time chatting with the local mechanic in Morayfield about what measures mechanics take to make sure cars are as safe on the road as possible. Stuff like that really means a lot to me and is actually helpful, which is why maybe some of my driving dreams are less stressful than they used to be. 

Every single day I wish that I was normal. I wish that I didn’t have this debilitating fear of driving that controls almost everything I do. It’s really hard for me to get places, to see people and just to live a normal life.

I feel like an absolute pain when I have to ask for lifts from friends and family. Once I was so desperate for a lift that I got into my friend’s car even though she didn’t have a valid roadworthy certificate. In the Morayfield area, you’re legally not allowed to drive around without one but I needed a lift so bad that I just took the risk of being in her car. I’ll admit, that was a real low point for me.

First Time Fishing

Aluminium / By

I took my daughter fishing for the first time yesterday. Growing up, my own parents would regularly bring me out on the water, and those long summer days feature in some of my best childhood memories. I’ve always wanted to do the same for my children, but I didn’t have the chance until recently, when we moved to a bayside suburb in Melbourne. My family originally moved for my wife’s new job, but I couldn’t be happier! Our balcony overlooks the ocean, our backyard gets a beautiful sea breeze, and I even own a boat.

It’s a custom fishing boat that was built mostly by a professional company, with small modifications completed by myself using quality marine fabrication parts. Melbourne has a number of fishing enthusiast groups who were excited to provide me with information on the local marine scene when we first moved here. Now, I feel pretty comfortable going out on the water by myself, and I’ve even made a few lifelong friends.

Having watched us work on the boat for months, my daughter couldn’t wait to sail on it herself. She’s still a child, so I gave her a lifejacket and demonstrated how to safely launch the boat using the method that the local boat catch installation specialist taught me earlier in the year. She’d never seen the boat on the water before, and was curious as to how it could float despite being made of aluminium and stainless steel. You should have seen the look on her face when I explained buoyancy to her!

After my little teacher moment (proud Dad here, sorry), I led her around the fuel tanks and pressure pipes, and got her to sit on the edge of the boat. I warned her to hold tightly onto the handrails so she didn’t fall. Either way, I made sure to drive slowly so she wasn’t scared. Thankfully, she loved the boat and the water. It was a great day.

My Treehouse Woes

Hardware / By

I’ve had many brilliant ideas, but today I’ve stumbled upon my finest yet: I’m going to build a treehouse. These wooden contraptions have intrigued me since I saw the film Ridge to Terrasmithia as a child. Even as an adult, I can’t imagine anything better. I’d love a place to escape to in nature, high up in the trees where I’m hidden from the curious gaze of my nosy neighbours.

This morning, I visited a hardware store near Sandringham in search of parts. The store was very well-supplied but as I don’t have a lot of construction experience, I couldn’t find what I was looking for. When I approached the store assistant for help, he kindly suggested my skills may not match my expectations. He instead directed me to a pamphlet rack filled with trade courses and recommended I look into improving my abilities before attempting something so extravagant.

See, I want my treehouse to be two-storeys high, with a ladder tumbling all the way to the floor, and a watertight ceiling to keep the wood from weather damage. I also want it outfitted with proper plumbing and gorgeous lighting so I can not only sleep there comfortably, but bring my friends to visit without embarrassment. Maybe the store assistant was right. It would be better to start a project like this with some other experience first.

I took a pamphlet from the rack and drove to enrol in construction classes offered by another building supplies store. Around Cheltenham, most of these classes are taken by people who want to learn trades for their career. I feel a little silly taking them just for a project like my treehouse, but I still can’t wait to start learning. Already, I know this is something I’ll really enjoy and my treehouse will look so much better as a result of all the effort I’m putting in. Can’t wait for the classes to begin.