Plumbers and Pumpkins

After spending the week cooped up in my house, my husband suggested I go for a walk outside. Exercise? No thanks, I told him. I wasn’t lacking any vitamins, and I did not want to work up a sweat.

In the end, my husband dragged me outside and taught me how to garden. Although I had a general understanding of how to plant and maintain a vegetable patch, I was never properly taught as a child, so I was glad to have his guidance.

I was digging for a place to plant my pumpkin seeds when my shovel hit a pipe. I could see it was in awful shape: the pipe was filled with debris, and the root system of a nearby tree had grown into it, obstructing its natural route. Turning to my husband, I asked if he knew of any drain repair companies near Melbourne that we could pay to unblock the pipe. Who knew what other effects this could be having on our home’s drainage system!

My husband appeared unconcerned and replied that he would take a look at the drain next weekend. I laughed – surely we should leave that job to a qualified plumber? Someone who had experience with domestic properties, and who had all the proper excavation and clearing equipment?

Finally, my husband acquiesced. He said there were a number of drainage contractors offering service in Melbourne and that all I had to do was find them. However, he promised that getting our drain repaired was not a pressing matter, and that I should enjoy the sunshine and leave the worrying until next week. After all, many of the companies had a two-hour response time, so it would be pretty easy to call someone out if the issue worsened in the coming days.

My husband may not have been a plumber, but he was quite the handyman around the house, so I trusted his judgement. We spent the rest of the day on our vegetable patch. I’m looking forward to trying my pumpkins in a few months!

Karen’s New Job

Karen woke to a cool gust of wind, and the calming sound of birds chirping while the sun rose. She prepared her children’s breakfast in the kitchen and applied her makeup in the bathroom. Everything was calm and tranquil, and she felt at peace. Until two minutes later when her stormwater drain ruptured and spewed water all over her clean carpet. Could this be a sign? Could she, a housewife and respectable homeowner, finally be ready to change the trajectory of her life? 

Yesterday, she had met her friend Bob at the park for a stroll. He was an expert tradesman, and had worked for over a decade to satisfy customers in the local area. While they enjoyed the fresh morning air, he told her all about the exciting world of drain repairs. Brighton was a small place, and she already walked all of it. She had not only visited every café in the area, but had traversed every trail, and explored every nature reserve. It was time to set her sights on something new. Perhaps her exciting new venture could be in plumbing? Karen had heard Bob talk about the equipment and materials needed to be an efficient worker, so she figured that with the proper training, it would be a simple job. 

After conducting a short television interview (all in a morning’s work) – Karen arrived at the store which specialised in sewer replacement services in the Melbourne suburbs. The business did also conduct repairs on leaks and drains, but these did not pertain directly to her immediate situation. Apparently, the workers at the store could sense her newfound enthusiasm plumbing. As she wasn’t a qualified plumber she wasn’t allowed to join the team, but they did let her come along for the ride. 

Thrilled by her new sense of purpose, Karen smiled. She quickly discovered she truly enjoyed repairing blocked sewers, and helping rid her community of leaking taps. Everybody deserves hot water, she reasoned. And she would bring it to them.  

The Solar Situation

They stormed down the corridor, looking for any way to get into the basement lab mentioned by the two men Maphira had eavesdropped on in the break room. Vai checked everything on the left, while Maphira checked the right. Eventually, they came across a door with a bright sign above it. 

Secret Project: Solar Product Solutions.

That had to be it. Maphira tried the door, shocked to find that it wasn’t locked. No code needed, nor key. They made this way too easy. She waved Vai through first, then pulled the door closed gently behind her.

The grey walls made the new hallway seem even smaller than it actually was, but Maphira shoved away her mild claustrophobia and followed Vai. Eventually, they came to another door, this one with a clear speaker system. Another verbal password.

“Try something to do with 300KW solar systems,” Maphira suggested. “Or maybe something about government rebates. Either way, it has to be something about solar power.”

Vai stroked her chin, deep in thought for a moment. “How do I get solar energy information?” she said, and the door slid upwards, revealing the expansive lab beyond.

The only light came from screens and devices emitting green, giving the space a sickly look. Dozens of researchers and scientists moved about or sat at desks. 

When the awe faded, Maphira placed a hand on Vai’s shoulder. “How did you get the password right on the first try?”

“Overheard some idiots say it in the break room. Just had to remember what it was. These guys have really got to increase their security.”

“No kidding. Alright, let’s split up and see what we can find.”

Fifteen minutes later, Maphira had her USB in one of the computers, transferring a large PDF titled: Plan to Take Over the World and Other Nefarious Schemes. She figured if that didn’t have all the details on their connection to the Conclave, nothing would.

Unfortunately, she was starting to suspect that she maybe owed Vai one-hundred dollars for a lost bet. 

 

Chase to Mechanics

Rylee had never been in so much pain. Perhaps she should have seen it coming—of course, the blast from the device she threw on that limo would affect her while driving the motorcycle. Of course, she would be so surprised that as she wrestled for control she lost it completely and ended up with her leg crushed beneath the wreckage. Of course Cosmo the Kobold would survive the attack and run away.

She had to get up – and fast – or risk losing Cosmo entirely. It was clear now that they had been heading to a mechanic in Tasmania, although it wasn’t obvious which one. If she wanted any chance of following him, she’d have to get up before losing sight of the runaway kobold completely.

As she grunted and shoved the broken motorcycle, a flood of pain bursting into her leg, Rylee considered the possibilities. Her boss had briefed her on which auto shops in Tasmania were likely bases for the Conclave of Mechanists. Hobart was the most likely location, but there were multiple car mechanics there who could be part of their plans. Perhaps the mechanic offering service around Brighton would be Cosmo the Kobold’s target.

“Move dammit,” Rylee said as she shoved again, sweat dripping down her forehead, into her eyes. “Come on, there’s no time for this.”

The mangled metal screeched as she pushed it along the asphalt. Finally, she created enough space to yank her leg free. 

Well, at least it’s not broken, she thought, flexing it. Now I’ve just got to make sure that kobold is actually heading to the Brighton car service—not the Cambridge one.

With that thought driving her to push through the pain, she stood, hobbling as she found her footing. Each step came easier than the last, and eventually, she found the strength to shake it off and break into a run. The kobold was getting away, but she wouldn’t lose him.

Far too much was at stake for that.

Cosmo’s Conveyancing Search

Cosmo would search everywhere in Melbourne to find the conveyancing firm which had just acknowledged his kind deed. Unfortunately, although it had only happened mere moments earlier, he could not remember the name of the suburb they operated in with their conveyancing services. With no working phone and no information to go off, he’d just have to try every conveyancing firm in Melbourne.

First, Cosmo decided that he would search for some conveyancing lawyers near Mentone, because he was pretty sure that was the suburb mentioned. As Cosmo the kobold walked the lonely streets of Melbourne’s suburbia, he considered how without money to make his tribe proud, he would never get to see his beloved children again. He had to do this for them, so that they could be proud that their father was a nice man. He was desperate – so desperate. And as he searched for conveyancing lawyers in Mentone, he got a sneaking suspicion that the man on the phone had instead mentioned something about conveyancing firms in the Collingwood area. Hanging his head, Cosmo began the trek toward Collingwood.

Evidently, the conveyancing firm had seen something kind within Cosmo. This was his big chance to change his life – to change the world. The truth was that he knew he’d been meant for more than sign spinning. Perhaps that was why he continually ate the boss’ lunch, expecting to get fired every day until it happened. Perhaps that was why he blew all the money he earned. Now he was free from the expectations on him to work hard in a minimum-wage job and bring the money back to his tribe. He would be one of the most positive people to walk into the conveyancing firm and find new meaning in life. This was a fresh start.

And so, with refound determination, Cosmo made his way to Richmond, sure that he would find the perfect conveyancing firm for him there.

Nature Ruining Flowers

Well, it looks like I’ll have to buy some new flowers. It’s a shame because I really did love those roses. About an hour ago my house just randomly started shaking, which was very scary, and then all my pot plants fell from the windowsill. In the aftermath, all I could do was weep at the sight of the damage. Others may have been concerned for their homes or their families, but I’d just lost my poor, beautiful roses to the destructive forces of nature! My life will never be the same without them.

Maybe I’m being a bit dramatic, although that is genuinely how I felt at the time. Now I’ve settled down a bit and realised that I could simply buy seeds online and enjoy the growing process again. It’s really nice watching something you’ve planted grow. I take great pride in cultivating flowers, so maybe this is a blessing in disguise. Thank you random shaking, for destroying my flowers! 

No, actually, I’ve changed my mind. This kind of sucks. Like, sure, I’ll enjoy nurturing new flowers and all, but it’s going to be so much effort. Do you have any idea how hard David Austin roses are to grow properly? So you know what, I’m kind of ticked off that mother nature decided to ruin my beautiful flowers. Why would you do this to me, world?

Admittedly, it was probably a bad idea to put my flowers in pots on the windowsill. A recipe for disaster, even. But what’s done is done. I suppose I only have myself to blame for this unfortunate situation. Next time, maybe I should do gardening outside like a normal person. Maybe this was the world’s way of getting back at me for taking its natural flowers indoors, where they would suffer from the stale air and lack of unfiltered sunlight. Alright, world, you win, I’ll plant my next batch of roses outside. Are you happy now?

– Rose

Car Radio Disaster

My car radio isn’t working. This is a disaster. How am I supposed to drive to work when I don’t have any music playing? I don’t really like driving because I’m impatient and fidgety. I need something to distract me from how long it takes to get to work. There’s nothing I love more than belting out the lyrics to a song whilst I’m driving. I don’t even notice time passing and I actually enjoy every minute of it. It’s like I’m at my own personal concert and I’m the star. Based on this, I’m sure you can understand why my radio not working is the worst thing that could happen to me.

I work in the Melbourne CBD and I drive because I don’t really like sitting in close proximity to people. Even though I don’t like driving and I’m impatient and fidgety, I dislike people even more. I can’t even fathom the idea of driving to and from work every day without a working radio and so I’m booking my car in for a car service local to South Yarra as we speak. I’m very good at multitasking, hence the driving and singing thing. I refuse to drive any more than once at a time without a radio. I’ve explained the seriousness of the issue to the mechanic and he said that he understands completely. Thank goodness.

It would be so bad if I booked into a mechanic and they were apathetic to the situation. It’s such an important one. No matter whether I was booking into a mechanic in South Yarra or a mechanic who does car repairs in the Malvern area, I’d want them to respect my opinion and understand the importance of my needs. Thankfully, I made the right choice by booking into the mechanic in South Yarra. I’m dropping my car there on the way to work today and hopefully, I’ll be able to pick it up tonight with a working radio.

Consulting A Shoulder Specialist

I have such bad luck. It’s like if something bad can happen to me then it will. I have a disability that causes me to blackout and fall to the ground without any warning. I won’t go into the specifics because it’s hard for me to talk about, but it’s really scary and causes me a lot of anxiety. It also causes me a lot of physical pain.

My last episode was when I was alone at a train station. I’m not allowed to drive in case I have an episode, but having one at the station was probably the next scariest thing. I could have fallen straight onto the tracks but luckily I fell parallel to the tracks onto my side. Seeing as I dropped without any idea I was falling, I wasn’t able to brace myself. I fell straight onto my left shoulder and caused significant damage.

Once I had recovered from my episode, which took a couple of days in hospital, I had to consult with a shoulder injury specialist local to Melbourne because I was in significant pain. It wasn’t immediately obvious when I was in hospital because I was on so many drugs to stabilise my condition. I was pretty much a zombie after my epsiode and just spent my time sleeping. Episodes take a lot out of your body because your whole brain is firing at once which it shouldn’t really be doing.

After my consultation with the shoulder injury specialist, it was clear that I needed a shoulder arthroscopy to see what the problem was. Because I obviously couldn’t remember my episode and the paramedics were only told by bystanders what had happened, the surgeons needed more information about my injury before operating. For those of you who don’t know, medical shoulder arthroscopy is basically where they insert a camera into your shoulder through a small incision to see a large amount of the shoulder. To find out more, tune into my next blog. 

Designing Office Spaces

It’s a mad rush to the finish line. I have one more day to submit my personal plans for my office fit-out to the office fit-out specialists for them to incorporate some of my ideas. That was an absolute mouthful – hopefully you understand what I’m saying. The office fit-out specialists said they were more than happy to take my style considerations into account and that they would incorporate them where they could.

They were very clear at the start that they are the best in the business for a reason, and that is because they effectively incorporate the ideas of their clients and industry knowledge to create beautiful office interior design. Companies in the Melbourne CBD that have had these office fit out specialists work on their office spaces have become more successful in the years after. Does that make sense? I don’t know. I’m in such a rush. What I’m trying to say is that getting office fit-outs by this company means that my business operations will improve as a result. Like anything business-related, increasing business productivity and having better operations flow is the goal. We’re in the business of making money, after all. 

I think it is very likely that, based on history alone, my business will benefit from these office fit-outs. Melbourne city-dwellers and office workers love spending time in new and modern buildings. It just goes with the whole Melbournian-vibe. Melbournians love being better than everyone else and having better things. That’s why I MUST get my designs to the office fit-out specialists by tomorrow! If I don’t then I won’t get to have any creative say in the fit-out process. Although I know for a fact that the fit-out people would do a great job, I want to have my own creative input too. I mean, I’m the one paying for it. Okay, I’ve got to stop talking! I’ve got to do my designs.

Quality Bathtub Converters

The bathtub converters are coming to my house today to make alterations to my bathtub! I’m very excited. Once I make these necessary changes to my bathroom, I’ll begin the smooth transition from aging-man-fighting-death to aging-man-accepting-his-fate. That sounds pretty good, doesn’t it?

After a couple of months of research, I decided that the best bathroom converters for me would be the ones who did easy step bathtub conversions as their main service. I didn’t want to go to a renovation company that just did bathtub conversions as a side hustle when needed. I wanted this company to focus completely on one thing. That way I could rest assured that there would be no compromises on quality or expertise. If you couldn’t already tell from my last articles, I make the decisions I take very seriously. Anyway, I’ll let you know my thoughts once the bathtub conversions are complete.

Wow! I absolutely love it. The way they’ve done it is so sleek and makes it really look like an accessory, rather than an afterthought. I’ve always prided myself on living in a space that is cool and high class, and the bathtub converters really achieved that with their quality bath modifications. Sydney apartments in the CBD are new and designed to reflect the ‘cool’ vibe of the city centre. I like living here because it makes me feel young, which was really important to me when I was struggling with my age and the idea of getting older. 

I am looking forward to beginning the next stage of my life. I feel like I’ve said that fifteen times over these last few blog posts, but it really is true. This feels like a symbolic stepping stone to the future me and living life safely and to the fullest. I hope that when my friends and family see the bath modifications, they decide to move in the same direction. It will be good for them.