Recorded for Posterity

‘Tell me you caught that,’ Dan groaned from the bottom of the stairs. He could faintly hear his skateboard rolling away from him, but he needed the air to start cooperating with his lungs again before he could chase it down.

‘We got it man!’ Alex chuckled, skipping down the steps to show him the camcorder. ‘We got it all!’

Dan propped himself up on his shoulders to look up into the lens. ‘You’re still filming?!’ he groaned, shoving the camera out of his face.

‘Mate, after that fall I don’t think I’m ever gonna stop filming you again!’

Dan tried to fake-laugh, but his ribs protested — apparently unaware that the lungs had already refused.

‘I wonder what we could use this for?’ Alex mused out loud, playing back the footage.

‘Aren’t we just chucking it up online like we always do?’

‘Think bigger, Dan! This could go viral! And then what? We just go on with our lives? What if..’ Alex got a glint in his eye. ‘What if this is the start of something? What if we send it to a marketing video production company to really make the video shine?’

Dan was starting to get convinced. ‘Going viral would be awesome! Maybe one day that could turn us into an animation!’ ‘Exactly! I’m so surprised you’re on board!’

Dan looked hurt. ‘I thought we were friends Alex. I thought you knew it was my dream to go viral with the help of the best corporate video production company in Melbourne.’

Alex teared up. ‘I’m sorry man. I had no idea.’

‘It’s okay,’ Dan said, welling up too. ‘I should be more open with my feelings.’

The two boys embraced.

The projector flicked off, and the lights were turned back on. Daniel and Alexander, in slick suits from their newfound fame, strode to the front of the table.

‘And that,’ Daniel said, gesturing with his thumb, ‘is why you can trust us with your business.’

The boardroom burst into spontaneous applause, as the two men hugged.

He’s Moving In

This month, my uncle is going to be moving in with my family. He’s been in hospital for a little while after his accident and we haven’t been able to see him due to that crazy worldwide event that’s been happening recently. When the hospital called us to explain he was going to be discharged soon, my wife had the phone on loudspeaker. The whole family had been listening in and we all started whooping and cheering. Everybody loves my uncle, so when he needed a place to stay after being discharged, the thought of not letting him live with us didn’t even cross my mind.

Right now, I’m researching a number of bathroom design ideas Melbourne companies have put online for inspiration. They’ve got some brilliant photos and it’s made my wife really excited, but I’m not sure if we’ll be able to complete our bathroom renovation like the pictures – unless we hire a proper company for it. And I imagine that will cost a lot. See, the reason we’re renovating our bathroom right now is because my uncle is disabled. I naively didn’t realise we would need to update our home to make it accessible for him, but it seems quite obvious and important now. In particular, we have to create a disabled bathroom layout to make it easier for him to shower and go to the toilet.

Luckily, our house is only one storey so we won’t have to completely remodel our home. Based on my research, we’ll have to do things like put new railings on the walls and install different kinds of cabinets and benches that are easier for him to navigate. We also have to ensure the bathroom itself is actually big enough for his wheelchair. I don’t mind doing these things at all, and my wife and children are more than happy to suffer a little temporary inconvenience during renovations for the sake of my uncle. I just can’t wait for him to move in with us!

Warmest New Job

I absolutely LOVE MY NEW JOB. I made such a good decision changing companies. I can’t even begin to explain how happy I am. I’m not only in a much more senior position, I’m surrounded by people who support me and I am making a difference in the world. Every day I come to work and I am sure that I’m doing good things. It’s made my workplace morale so much better and every day I can’t wait to get started. 

I’m sure you all remember my anger and frustration at my boss for refusing to hire a technician specialising in ducted heater servicing. Canberra businesses should all get regular heating services if they want their employees to be happy. If they’re not doing that then they can’t really expect their employees to stay. We sell our time to businesses. I can (clearly) sell my time to anyone and obviously, I’m going to choose the business that makes my life the best – it would be silly not to.

But anyway, this isn’t about my old work anymore. This is about work that is fulfilling and how much I enjoy working where I work. It’s also about working for bosses that respect your needs and recognise that paying for regular heating services in Canberra is absolutely pivotal to employee satisfaction.  

I’m excited for my new life to really begin. It’s going to be fantastic. I’m making my way in the world and I can feel it. What started as a young woman fresh out of university just trying to land an internship has led to a senior position in just over two years. I’m so proud of myself.

Even though my old colleagues weren’t proud of me, I’m not going to let that get me down. I’m going to use that as motivation to get better every single day. I’ll show them just how good I am.


Lovely Traditional Tattoo

I just wanted to follow up on the blog that I wrote about skincare and tattoos. A lot of you wrote in and said that similar things happened to you. I found that so interesting! I thought it was just something that happened to me, but apparently, if you feel good about yourself and take more pride in your appearance then you’re more likely to consult a traditional tattooist than a regular person. How interesting!

Some of you wrote in saying that your experience was the same but not with skincare. There was a whole variety of things that made you feel confident enough to get a tattoo. Some examples of them, for those of you who are curious, were new relationships, new jobs, achieving milestones in your life, going travelling and more. From what I gathered, anything that made people feel good about themselves was enough to inspire them to get their first tattoo. For so many of you, skincare was the confidence boost you needed to learn to express yourself through tattoos. Psychologists should do some sort of study on this phenomenon. 

I’d love for you guys to submit pictures of your tattoos to my inbox. It would be awesome to also get some feedback on the tattoo shop local to Brisbane that you went to because I’m always on the lookout for another place where I can get a tattoo. My whole body is a canvas at this point and I’m not married to anyone particular tattoo parlour. 

I just want to look as good on the outside as I feel on the inside, thanks to my beautifully soft skin that glows when you look at it. Looking good and feeling good is one of the most important parts of being in your mid-twenties. I’m never going to be this young again and so I want to make the most of it whilst I can.

The Animation Messaging

I can’t believe I get access to all this top-secret information, all because I work near a video production company. I mean, what are the chances? It’s pretty cool, really, even if Melbourne (and now all of Australia) has been taken over by Mechanist Rising. It certainly helps that I can warn my family about incoming laws and restrictions put in place by the Mechanists – thanks to being in close proximity to the video production agency with all the inside knowledge.

I know I said that I was going to stay out of this and just put my head down, hoping to save myself. However, I can’t quite help but feel that I could be doing more. Things are really bad out there. The Conclave is gaining more power by the day. Their goals of world domination don’t even seem that unrealistic anymore. I just wish there was something I could be doing, but I don’t work at the video production company. Melbourne residents are terrified of Mechanist Rising. And honestly, they have no idea what is coming next. If they’re terrified now, I hate to think what the reaction will be to the video I’ve heard is currently in the works.

I’ve been posting these blogs (as well as a video transcript) to random websites on the internet, in the hopes that somebody will see them, but they don’t seem to be gaining traction. Maybe it’s for the best because honestly, I’m pretty scared too. I don’t think toeing the line is going to cut it anymore. These guys are really serious. I can’t keep hearing what the video production business near Melbourne is doing anymore. 

I think it’s time that the video production agency starts putting some hidden messages in these animations. Maybe they can rally people, encourage them to stand up to these new oppressors. And as long as they cover their tracks right, they won’t get caught. 

– Mr Chowski

Solar Stand Off

“Vai, what are you doing?” Maphira asked, not particularly enjoying the feeling of a blaster pressed against the back of her head.

Her partner spat on the floor of the solar power facility’s battery room. “We’ve worked too hard to let this all come undone now. Captain Hold thought that by seeing the work of the Conclave, you’d come around to our cause, but evidently, he was wrong.”

Maphira blinked twice in shock. Even her sister’s mouth hung open. Captain Hold and Vai? Mechanists? Surely not.

“Vai, just put the blaster down,” said Rylee, standing ready to push the button that would destroy a major Conclave base. “I can’t say I’m too surprised. I always did have a strange feeling about you when I was in the force.”

Vai laughed, short and bitter. “Oh, it’s not just me, you idiot. Not just Captain Hold, either. The entire precinct has come around to our mission. Our utopia of a machine society is almost within reach. By the end of the year, everybody will have solar PPAs, and when everybody has access to solar power, the Uprising will begin. Step away from the console or your sister gets it. I know you still care about each other.”

Rylee looked at Maphira with wide eyes. It was true; as much as they annoyed each other, they were still sisters. Maphira gave the slightest nod, hoping her sister would understand what she wanted.

A society where anybody could access a business offering solar product solutions sounded perfect, but not if machines ruled the entire world. She wouldn’t let it happen. Maphira didn’t know why Rylee had targeted the base in Hobart, but it was clearly for a good reason.

Taking the hint, Rylee slammed her hand into the button. The bluff failing, Vai stood shocked for a moment, and it was enough for Maphira to dodge out of the way, spin and knock her former partner down.

Red lights flashed. Warning sirens sounded. The facility shook, and the room began to collapse. Debris separated the sisters, as it became clear that they needed to flee.

Advocates of Melbourne

Somewhere in the depths of Melbourne gathers a secret sect, a powerful group, a conclave that hides in the shadows, waiting to enact their plots. This group is known as the Advocates of Melbourne. This is their story.

The Advocates formed a special alliance in the year 2020, after the mad tyrant known as Premier Norris declared that all conveyancers and buyer’s agents would help him find his dream home for free. Not wanting to assist the mad premier, the group fled to the sewers of Melbourne. There, these people would unite together to be the ultimate sect of property advocates. Melbourne and its premier, Norris, would not stand a chance against their united power. One man, an up-and-coming buyer’s advocate by the name of Riley, would lead them in a secret battle against the corrupt premier. 

The battle was fierce and relentless. For three days, the premier’s guards and the advocates fought beneath Government House. And just when it seemed that hope had run out for the property advocates, Premier Norris lost the election to Dr Dark McBane. As Norris fled to the countryside, Riley met with McBane to discuss a potential treaty. But McBane had other ideas for the Advocates of Melbourne. He proposed to Riley that he could be the only buyer’s advocate close to Elsternwick, having dominion over the area. This was a deal that Riley could not refuse, so he turned his back on the Advocates of Melbourne and joined McBane.

Ever since this betrayal, the other members of the Advocates of Melbourne have been plotting their revenge. While they have been branded as a sinister group by some, all they want is for Riley to face justice, so that they can return to the streets of Melbourne and serve the community as the best property advocates around. To some, they may be villains, but to me, they are the true heroes of this story.

Principal’s Modern Design

I’ve recently been employed as the principal of a very expensive private school in Victoria. The job is a dream come true; after years of low-paying teaching positions and moving up through the ranks, this has always been my goal. So far, I’m having a brilliant time. The campus is beautiful, and the students are not only well-behaved, but actually seem eager to learn. What surprised me the most is just how many resources are put into the buildings and architecture here. It looks great for prospective parents on open days, but do the students really care? Custom desks, custom whiteboards, custom bathrooms. It’s crazy. But I also know how lucky I am. Hundreds of educators would do anything for even an assistant position at this school, and I have the top job. Even some of Britain’s royals have been educated here. 

It’s been one week since I moved into my new principal’s office. So far, I’ve introduced myself at the assembly and signed a lot of things. Apparently, they’re hoping my presence will reinvigorate the school, which means I also get a lot of power when it comes to new building projects. The first major task I’ve been given is to create a list of the best bathroom design companies Melbourne has to offer, speak to them all, and employ the best ones. One of the school’s oldest buildings has been around since the fifties, so it’s definitely time for a bit of a facelift in the bathroom. It’s so much more complex than renovating a bathroom at home, but luckily there are dozens of resources to help me out. I have to think about things like cost and the budget I’ve been given, as well as preparation and demolition requirements so the students’ learning isn’t unnecessarily impacted. Then, it’s onto the actual style and layout, which includes things like fixtures and basins. It’s going to be a lot of work, but I’m determined to prove myself.

Ruby’s Sewer Project

Ruby the rat had been working at Remy’s cheese delivery business for five years when she decided she’d had enough. Ruby loved cheese, and she loved her customers, but Remy was an awful boss. He never complied with OHS procedures, he failed to communicate with clients, and – perhaps worst of all – he never shut up about how brilliant his house near the CBD was. Sighing, Ruby scanned through her list of customers all around the area for someone who could install job management software for trades and services in the Melbourne CBD (and underground). The cheese delivery business had been a greater help to Ruby than Remy had ever been. But there would be brilliant software in any industry. She put her resignation notice on Remy’s desk and left the store. 

Where to work next? Ruby knew there were several projects going on in the sewers at the moment. She didn’t want to be part of the king’s promotional video, or the huge plumbing project that was underway in regional Victoria … But she knew of a group of rats who were working to improve lighting in the darkest sewer tunnels. Maybe she could join them? Ruby thought they would appreciate the extra help, but she wasn’t sure they would be willing to take someone without experience as an electrician.

Suddenly, a brilliant idea came to her! Ruby had a passion for rat technology, and she knew about a new job management software. Designed for electrical contractor businesses in Melbourne, it was so new to the market that there was no way the electrician rats could have seen it yet! She would bring it to them, show them how easy it was to use, and how such software could cut down on admin tasks such as quotes, invoices and timesheets. Even purchase orders for new light bulbs could be tracked through the software. Ruby grinned. She couldn’t wait to apply for the new job – anything to get away from Remy!

Office Space Upgrade

Working as an architect on the moon colony of Melbourne is a dream come true. Unlike on Earth, where the manufacturing industry is ruled by complex safety procedures and those pesky laws of physics, things on the moon are much more relaxed. It seems like every single day I’m called in to design a new dome to house robotic animals, or a public swimming pool that tunnels all the way to the centre of the planet.

Today I’m working on an update to our tallest gravity-defying skyscraper – an office building that has been in use for several decades and is quickly being worn out by the lack of atmosphere. Since we’re so close to the sun, I’m thinking of employing one of the Melbourne companies offering commercial window tinting services. An upgrade to the windows would prevent damaging UV rays from entering through the glass, which has been a real problem since we opened the lunar colony.

Earth sent their annual report over a few weeks ago and it didn’t look good. Apparently, we use too much electricity on the moon and it’s been affecting the tidal patterns of our mother planet. The governments of both worlds have been in talks, and there are rumours Earth is going to cut our power ration if we don’t improve soon. An expert installation from any one of the office glass tinting businesses in Melbourne would not only reduce heat naturally, but also lower cooling costs – something I know my clients would love.

I just hope I’m able to design and execute the upgrades in time! The staff inside the office spaces won’t be too happy. They’ll need to be relocated, which is a mammoth task on the moon. Worst of all, they’re used to living in relative comfort, and won’t enjoy being inconvenienced. Luckily, I know the glass installation specialists myself and I know they’re very efficient. Fingers crossed everything goes to plan!